There’s something I need to say out loud—because too many of us have felt it, experienced it, and quietly questioned if it was just “part of the game.” It’s not.
Somewhere along the way, women were handed a script that said there was only one seat at the table. One promotion. One spotlight. One “spot” for us to occupy—so we better fight like hell to get it and guard it like our life depends on it once we’re in it!
And here’s the truth…that script has been running the show for far too long, and honestly, that’s on us!
I’ve sat in those rooms. The ones where the smiles feel a little too tight. Where the compliments come with a side of comparison. Where support feels… performative. Where you can practically feel the competition hanging in the air like humidity before a storm. And for a long time, I thought—this is just how it is.
Until I realized something that changed everything. We don’t actually have to play that game. And better yet? Some of us have been refusing to for quite some time!
That’s what this blog and my recent series on social media—We Don’t Do That Here—is all about. It’s not just content. It’s not just a call-out. It’s a standard. And honestly? It’s a filter. Because the women who get it… get it. And the ones who don’t? They’re going to feel real uncomfortable here.
Let’s start with the big one—competition. If you’re still looking at another woman’s success like it somehow takes something away from you, I’m going to say this with love and my classy but sassy Allie real talk….that’s not power. That’s scarcity dressed up in a cute outfit.
The most powerful woman in the room isn’t the one side-eyeing the competition or quietly hoping someone else fails so she can rise. Smiling and nodding to to their faces while plotting and criticizing behind their backs. The most powerful woman in the room??? She’s the one building the damn table. She’s the one saying, “Pull up a chair.” She’s the one speaking another woman’s name in a room full of opportunity even when that woman isn’t there to hear it. That’s not weakness. That’s leadership.
And let’s talk about fake support for a second, because whew… this one gets messy. Clapping for someone in their presence and then crap talking and criticizing them behind their back isn’t strategy—it’s insecurity with good lighting. Those women?? They’re what I call the “fake, inauthentic half clappers”. Here’s the thing. REAL women don’t move like that. If we support you, you’ll feel it in the room and behind closed doors. And if we’ve got something to say? We’re going to say it to you, not about you. Because integrity doesn’t clock out when the audience disappears.
Then there’s the gatekeeping. The hoarding of opportunities like there’s a limited supply of success to go around. Let me be real clear: if your version of winning requires other women to stay small, you didn’t win—you limited yourself.
The women who are truly powerful? They don’t just walk through doors. They hold them open. They send the elevator back down. They say, “Hey—she needs to be in this room too.” When they’re presented with an opportunity they can’t provide or that isn’t quite right for them, instead of just declining they recommend another woman who’s a better fit for that. Because they understand something most people don’t: Your network, your influence, your impact—it expands when you share it.
And can we please, for the love of all things holy, stop shrinking ourselves to be more “likable”? I’ve done it. You’ve done it. We’ve all done it at some point—dimming our voice, softening our edges, making ourselves more digestible so we don’t make other people uncomfortable.
No more!! You are not here to be easy.. You are here to be impactful. And when one woman decides to stop playing small, it gives every other woman watching the courage to do the same. One woman moving this way becomes a walking permission slip for others to follow suit! That’s how change happens. Not quietly. Not politely. But boldly.
And then there’s my personal favorite—the “I struggled, so you should too” mentality. No. Absolutely not. Your struggle wasn’t meant to be passed down like some twisted rite of passage. It was meant to teach you something so you could make the path a little less brutal for the woman coming behind you. That’s the whole point.
Real women don’t make it harder for each other just because it was hard for them. They share the blueprint. They shorten the learning curve. They say, “Here—let me show you what I wish someone had shown me.” That’s how you break cycles. That’s how you build legacy.
So when I say We Don’t Do That Here, I’m not just being catchy. I’m being intentional. We don’t compete for crumbs. We don’t fake support. We don’t gatekeep power and opportunity. We don’t shrink. And we sure as hell don’t pass down struggle like it’s a badge of honor.
What we do is build. We elevate. We speak each other’s names in rooms that matter. We collaborate like our impact depends on it—because it does. And maybe most importantly? We find each other and when we do, we hold on tight!
Because when you finally land in a room—or on a page, or on a stage, or in a community—where women actually move like this… you feel it. There’s no tension. No quiet competition. No underlying agenda. Just alignment. Support. Power. And a whole lot of “where have you been all my life?”
So if you’re reading this and thinking, yes… this is how I move or this is how I want to move—Good. You’re exactly who this is for. Welcome to the standard.
If you’re reading this and thinking, yes… this is how I move or this is how I want to move, then this next part is for you.
You don’t need an intervention… yet. But if you keep going the way you’re going? You will.
Click the button below and book an Allie-vention Call. One honest conversation with a woman who’s sat in your seat, survived what you’re surviving, and came out the other side with her integrity intact. No pitch deck. No nonsense. Just a real look at where you are, where you’re headed, and what it’s actually going to take to get there without losing yourself in the process.
And for anyone not aligned with our standard here, feel free to find a different table!
